H1N1

Posted by on February 9, 2010 in doctor, H1N1 |

I had two flu shots this year. One shot for the regular flu, the other for H1N1. If I didn’t have the H1N1 shot, I’d swear I have it. I’ve been having headaches, chills and generally feeling like crap on and off for two weeks now, but I haven’t had a fever.

I thought I may need new glasses since I was having all these headaches, so I went to the eye doctor today. He gave me a bunch of tests.

He pulled down the machine with a gaggle of lenses, started flipping them like a black jack dealer and said, “Which one’s better, one or two?”

“One,” I said.

“Which one’s better, one or two?”

“Two.”

“Which one’s better, one or two?”

“Uhhhh…one,” I said.

After we did this about ten times, he said, “Nothing’s wrong with your eyes. Go to a real doctor and get checked out you might have the H1N1 virus.”

I said, “I already was vaccinated for that.”

“You never know,” he said. “Go to your real doctor anyway.”

Then I thought to myself, maybe I ought to have my real doctor check out my eyes while I’m there. Even my sister who has a Ph.D in Psychology would never say she isn’t a real doctor and she doesn’t even wear a white lab coat like this guy was.

So I called my real doctor to make an appointment and his secretary said, “I’m sorry but he’s on vacation, but there’s an attendee here. Would you like to see him?”

“Is he a real doctor?” I said.

“Yes, of course he’s a real doctor,” she said.

“Oh ook, because I’ve been having headaches and I think it might be the H1N1 virus, even though I’ve already been vaccinated, and need him to check my eyes too because apparently they’re letting anyone call themselves and eye doctor these days,” I said.

“Huh?” she said. “What about the H1N1 virus?”

“Never mind,” I said. “Believe it or not, my headache’s gone.”

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