Crazy Crimes

Posted by dwallace on March 22, 2010 in Crazy Crimes, criminal class press, Fun Facts, St. Louis |

Today’s crimes are almost unbelievable:

A Lancaster man stabbed another man in the neck with a meat thermometer after the victim asked the attacker’s lady friend to stop talking on her cell phone during a movie.

In California, a person cut the natural gas lines in a police station and strapped a bomb to a cop’s car.

All over the nation, from California to St. Louis, groups of children ages 10 to 15 are ganging up and beating the living-piss out of innocent people walking by.

Right now, there is a poll on a major news website asking if people, “Are you rooting for the ‘Barefoot Bandit’?”

Has the United States always been this crazy or am I just noticing it more? Burglars and thieves have Facebook fanclub pages. Serial killers have groupies and women wanting to marry them in prison. “The Americans are certainly hero-worshippers, and always take their heroes from the criminal classes.”- Oscar Wilde

Since our country was founded, every generation has told the one after them that, “This country’s going to hell in a hand basket.” Today citizens are arming themselves in mass quantities. Upscale restaurants are serving endangered species, like whale meat. Missionaries are being accused of human trafficking. Priests are diddling little boys faster than Eddie Van Halen can diddle his guitar. It’s sad, but you couldn’t make stuff up that sounded this bizarre. Crime in America has taken on a life of it own.

When a crime happens we call the cops. But when they get there, we hear them making racist remarks from cell phone recordings.,0,7549533.story

Then we see groups of cops beating a suspect on video; that is until one of the cops looks up and sees the news helicopter and then he starts pulling the other cops off of the guy on the ground. We’ve got other cops getting arrested for selling drugs. We’ve got Corrections Officers bringing drugs into work and ripping “gold grills” out of people mouths. All I can say in their defense is, they’ll get their day in court. (Pause for long sigh…)

The courts lately haven’t been of help much either. Parents are getting jail time for kids skipping school. Betcha’ that’ll make kids go to school, now that mom’s locked up and not really there to supervise them in the mornings.

A cop with stellar record got sued for asking for a guy’s i.d. They then got into a scuffle because the man wouldn’t give the cop the i.d. The cop ended up losing the lawsuit. The man who won the suit had been harassing the cop for three months with a video camera waiting for him to fall out of line; of course that’s not what’s shown on television. “That’s payback for all the one’s that were missed of the cops harrassing us,” someone said.

Anna Nicole Smith’s case finally got decided. You know the one where she was suing to get her Billionaire Texas oil-tycoon husband’s money? The Billionaire’s son was counter-suing so she couldn’t get any of the estate. The son’s been dead since 2006. Anna’s been dead since 2007, but the ruling was finally handed down this week said she’s not entitled to any of the money. Hopefully now she can rest in peace. But if you ask me, the decission is a few years late and a few hundred million dollars short.

So what’s the answer to all this craziness going on? Some say the government should step in and do something. Others feel the government is already doing too much and should stay out of it. Those same people later bitch that there’s not enough cops when something happens to them. Or they give the cops an attitude when they get there and then they get popped in the mouth. After that they want less cops again.

So again, what’s the answer? I don’t have the answer, I just have a key board and these are the things that I’ve been observing lately. The subtitle of the blog is, “Observations on the human experience,” not, “The solutions for the human experience,” because there’s only one solution to not feeling any pain and I’m not ready for death yet. Although for 35 States, the U.S. Military and the U.S. Government, death sometimes is the answer to these crimes. In the other 15 States, you’ll either have to wait or do it yourself.

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