In The Dog House

Posted by dwallace on May 2, 2011 in Dog House |

Ever wonder how you get dragged into an argument with your significant other? You know what I mean, the kind of argument where you don’t speak to each other for two days? Usually it begins with playful banter.

“You’re so silly sometimes.”
“What why?”
“You just are. You’re so silly.”
“Nut-uh. You’re silly.”
“Oh yeah, well you retarded.”
“Retarded? Well at least I’m not silly and retarded.”
“You’re as silly as a five year old retarded kid.”
“Stop calling me retarded.”

This progresses to where you’re saying things like, “Well you’re a retarded silly little slut.”
“Oh yeah, well you’re retarded and have a small penis,” she says.
And your best come back is, “I told you to stop calling me retarded.”

Before you know it the gloves come off and anything goes. You’re like a blood thirsty animal going in for the kill and nothing is off limits. From past relationships to ugly members of their family, anything and everything is on the table.

“Your mother’s overbearing!”
“Yeah well my last boyfriend’s penis was three times as big as yours!”
“Stop talking about my penis!”

This progresses to talking about annoying habits, to their deepest insecurities that only you know about.

When your wrapped up in this frenzy you feel like a washed up old baseball player who’s still swinging for the fences. And when the dust settles, all you have left is two hurt, broken people, who are suppose to care about each other more than anything in the world and they end up being the people who hurts each other the most.

It takes a couple of days before you get over the insults and the pain. You pass each other like strangers in your own home with little grunts and head nods. And then who ever drops their pride first, is the one who apologizes.

“I’m sorry that I said those things and I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”
“Yeah me too. The whole thing was silly.”
“Yeah, the whole thing was silly. But you know, you just act so silly sometimes?”
“Me? What about you? You act sillier than me, ya silly freak.”

And before you know it, you’re back in the doghouse again.


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