My Million Dollar Ideas
My grandpa once told me, “Son, everyone’s got at least one million-dollar idea a day, but very few people act on them.”
Well my million dollar idea, since I’m a writer, is to start writing down my million dollar ideas and then at the end of a year, I’ll have a book.
Here’s my list for the day:
1. I’m going to start writing down my million dollar ideas.
2. Someone forwarded me a picture of an Asian lady at a Renaissance Fair in full chain mail and I thought, Hmmm, I wonder if they have Asian Renaissance Fair porn?
3. A self-defense store that caters to only to women. I would sell things like Pepper Spray, Stun Guns and Self-Defense videos and I would only advertise my store after certain television shows like: COPS, I Shouldn’t Be Alive or news reports where there was violence against women. That way, I play into the fear of my audience when they are ripe and ready to buy. Exploitative? Yeah, probably, but when you’re a millionaire you can sleep on a pile of money and I think that would help me sleep at night.
Speaking of not having a conscious, I’m not afraid of stealing ideas from other people. I was at lunch the other day with my wife when I overheard a guy say,
4. “There should be a seminar company called Seminars on the Sea. We could set up seminars on almost anything we want, in any industry we want, and the companies can write it off.”
I looked at my wife and whispered, “I’m stealing that idea.”
Of course she had no idea what I was talking about because A. She didn’t hear the guy and B. I hadn’t shared my Million Dollar Idea with her yet. I went home and looked it up; apparently there’s already a company called Seminars at Sea, and Seminars by the Sea, but not Seminars on the Sea. (Don’t even think about stealing my stolen idea.)
Feel free to throw your own Million Dollar Idea out there in the “comments” section. I mean if you’re not going to use it, why not share it?
But if you decide to be greedy and not to share your Million Dollar Idea, then please get out there and do something with it; don’t literally keep it to yourself. Who knows, you could have Billy May’s (R.I.P.) partner, Sulli Sullivan, pitching your idea on the next big infomercial.
“Hi, Sulli Sullivan here and ladies have I got the next big thing for you! Don’t you hate when you have embarrassing odor from nasty gas? Does your husband or significant other have to leave the room after you let one rip?
Well I’d like to introduce you to Fart-B-Gone! Fart-B-Gone is a stainless steel container that vacuums your unwanted flatulence away. You then put the lid on the container and release the stink-bomb outside to avoid any embarrassing odor. Call now and we’ll even throw in another Fart-B-Gone for free. But wait! There’s more…”
You can fill-in-the-blank on what the next big thing will be. And remember, these are ideas I’ve had in just one day. Please feel free to share.